This summer, I decided to be a big girl and have a vacation all to myself. A lot of my family wanted to stay home and work because of the problems we had at home. Daddy was having trouble digesting everything he was being fed (and mommy said he was also having gas problems. How gross!!!). I also think daddy was having a fight with the dentist, he kept yelling about not drilling, or something like that. Ye gods, I couldn’t take it any more. All the complaining. That’s all I heard after I started the 2nd grade last October. You wouldn't believe how much complaining there was. All I heard was people talking about problems. Like you could do something about them, right? It got so bad that I didn't even listen anymore.I'd just lock myself in my room and listen to Barbra Streisand records. (Don't you just love her?) Finally, I just had to get away. I had to have time to myself. I’m a big girl now.
There’s also another reason. My marks weren’t so very good, average below 10%, and the Principal and some of the School Council wanted me to stay in school until I could show some accomplishment. (I’m not sure what that word means; I’ll ask Mommy when I get back from my vacation.) But, stay in school? – that’s called summer school – ugh! I don’t need summer school. I’m a big girl now.
Anyway, the first day I got to Camp Duck ‘n’ Hide I was happy to find that a lot of my friends from my 2nd grade class were there. The first one I met was Harry. He’s a nice boy, and he’s nice to me but he’s not very handsome. (A lot of people tell me I’m pretty – maybe that’s one of the reasons I was voted class representative. I really wanted to be Student President, but I’ll probably have to wait another four years, when I’ll be in the 6th grade. But that’s not too bad. The girl who was running for Student President lost, so now I guess I’m the top girl.) I’m a big girl now.
I just got a letter from Mommy. She said that the family is still not so good and Daddy’s gas pains are getting worse. Jeez, she never stops bitching. (I told you I was a big girl.) I hope I won’t be like that when I get to be old. She also said something about a lot of people going into the school last week (I thought it was closed) and talking about stuff in the dark. I don’t really understand what she was trying to tell me, but it seems they were mostly talking about daddy’s gas pains and his problems with the dentist, and trying to figure out how to make the pains go away. Oh well, after I get home from camp, I’ll see if I can find some way to make him feel better. He should be able to stand the pain until then. He’s a big boy. And I’m a big girl now.
There was also a nice surprise in Mommy’s letter. There was a $20 bill in the envelope. Mommy said it was a present from someone named Green. Now I can walk into town after our multi-cultural tug-of-war (that’s the last activity on the afternoon schedule) and buy a pizza slice for myself. I might even buy one for Harry. I’m a big girl now.